Previous English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the condition.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the moment," he stated.
"It isn't that I don't understand where it's going. We understand that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his current wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the illness worsens.
"Maybe that's trauma or perhaps I process things differently, and after I have the facts, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Indications
Moody learned he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the condition, a number of scans showed nerve cells in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately very affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't experience sick
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle loss in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I'm still able to accomplishing whatever I want. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Disease Advancement
MND can advance quickly.
As per the organization MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a third of people within a 365 days and over half within 24 months of identification, as eating and inhalation become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow decline.
"It's not me that I experience sorrow for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Household Impact
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he discussed telling his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and started cleaning the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody explained the emphasis was staying in the now.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely intensely focused on just accepting and enjoying each moment now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been really blessed that the primary decision I made when I retired from playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as attainable. We don't get those times back."
Player Connection
Elite sportspeople are unevenly influenced by MND, with investigations proposing the incidence of the illness is up to sixfold greater than in the general population.
It is believed that by restricting the oxygen accessible and producing harm to neural pathways, consistent, intense physical activity can trigger the illness in those already genetically susceptible.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, relentless method to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a practice altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a training equipment and started throwing himself into collisions.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the set piece in the critical moment of play, setting a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing drop-goal.
Assistance Network
Moody has already notified Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the others will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the present, just having that kind of affection and acceptance that people are present is what's important," he stated.
"Rugby is such a excellent community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to call your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Achieving this for so extended a period with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will want to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
